Some nice jokes

Father: Itne kum marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us teacher ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
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TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you’re wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots !!
PAPPU: Yes, it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.
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Chota Santa stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the Sabji wala:

10 kilo sugar at Rs 1.25 a kilo
4 kilo coffee at Rs1.50 a kilo
2 kilo butter at Rs1.10 a kilo
2 bars soap at Rs0.83 each

“How much does that come to?” asked Larry.

“Twenty-two rupees and thirty-six paisa.”

“If I gave you three ten rupee bills, how much change would I get?” said Chota Santa.

“Seven rupees and sixty-four paisa,” stated the Sabji wala who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.

Chota Santa said, as he disappeared through the door, “Mujhe ye sab nahi kharid ne ka he.. mujhe to bas apne kal ke math homework karna tha“
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There were two brothers at aged 12 & 8. They were so naughty and always people comes with complain to their parents. Parents became very fed-up and they have taken them to the mental doctor.

Doctor firstly call 12 years boy and asked him “Tell me where is god?” The boy keep himsilence. Then doctor again with loud voice asked him “Tell me where is God?”.
The boy suddenly ran away and went to his home and hide himself in his cloth cupboard.

When another brother saw that he also ran away after him and reached to the home and asked “Brother what doctor asked you and why you ran away?”

The elder brother said, “God is missing and everybody thinking that we did it”
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A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “God is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he’s out there?”
“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “God? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”
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Teacher: Johnny, name two pronouns.
Johnny: Who, me?
Teacher: Very good!
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A teacher once asks all students to write an essay on the topic “A Poor Family”. One student gets the lowest marks for writing that essay . The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class and her essay goes on as…
She writes :

Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband aur wife dono gareeb they, doo bachey they, woh bhi bahut gareeb they!!!

Ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they, ghar ka maali, driver aur guard bhi bahut gareeb they, ghar ke 4 kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken nahi khaaya tha, 3 mercedeez car thi,
unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha, ghar mein 1 saal sey paint nahi hua tha family ko holiday ke liye foreign country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho gaye they, ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they, all in all, bahut he gareeb family thi!!!!!
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Maths teacher asks a boy what are 2,4,10,17.
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The boy replies they are HBO, ZOOM, SONY and POGO.
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Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.
Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.
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Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas.

At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
“I pray for a new bicycle!”
“I pray for a new Nintendo!”
“I pray for a new VCR!”

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God doesn't have hearing problem.“

To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma has!“
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Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.” Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Bobby’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.

Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby’s mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

“Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.”

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

*** Letter 1 ***

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.

I want a red one.

Your friend,

Bobby.

Bobby knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

*** Letter 2 ***

Dear God,

This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday.

Thank you.

Your friend Bobby.

Bobby knew that this wasn’t true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

*** Letter 3 ***

Dear God,

I have been an “OK” boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.

- Bobby.

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

*** Letter 4 ***

God,

I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!

Thank you,

Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.

Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby’s mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

“Just be home in time for dinner”, Bobby’s mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar.

He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.

He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to God.

*** Letter 5 ***

Hey God,

I’VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND A RED BIKE!!!
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A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit; she instructed her son – to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.

After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy’s phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.

She waited impatiently for her husband to return from site, immediately she sighted him, she gave him a very hot slap, while the man was trying to ask why?

She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of this.

The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called,
Junior said “the number u are trying to call is not reachable“.



Have Fun!!!